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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.

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Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.

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Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

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If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.

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Auto-correct can kiss my ask.

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Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.

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Don't judge a book by its movie.