You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
