The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Haters are just confused admirers.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
