The world is full of guys, be a man.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
