The world is full of guys, be a man.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
