The world is full of guys, be a man.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Immaturity keeps me young.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
