A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Always remember to smile.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
F that B.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
