A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Winners do what other people won't.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.