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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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The lottery: voluntary taxation.

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I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.

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I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.

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You live and you learn.

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I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.

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Haters make you famous.

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A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.

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Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.

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Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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He who laughs last thinks slowest.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.