Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
