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Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.

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It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...

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If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.

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Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.

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Make money, don't let it make you.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.

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You know you love her when people think you're crazy.

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When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

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Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.

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Dreams lift when reality falls.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.

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Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

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People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

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History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.

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Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.