Everybody spread positivity.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
